Sobbing George Santos Sentenced to 87 Months in Prison

Lied his way into Congress, cried his way into prison.

Disgraced former congressman and full-time fabulist George Anthony Kitara Rivache Zebrowski Devolder Santos AKA George Santos has officially gone from the House floor to a federal cellblock. On Friday, a judge sentenced the ex-New York Republican to 87 months in prison—just over seven years—for a laundry list of fraud charges stemming from his 2022 congressional campaign, including aggravated identity theft and wire fraud. Santos must surrender to authorities by July 25.

In a rare moment of public remorse, Santos reportedly sobbed in the courtroom, telling the judge, “I betrayed the confidence entrusted in me,” and adding, “I cannot rewrite the past, but I can control the road ahead.”

Translation: “I’m sorry I got caught, your honor.”

A Collapse Built on Lies

The sentence marks a stunning collapse for a man who, not long ago, sat in Congress representing parts of Long Island and Queens—and made headlines for faking everything from his work history to his religion to his mother dying twice: once on 9/11 and once from cancer.

He also called himself a “proud American Jew”—until someone did five minutes of Googling and realized he’s just a guy named Anthony from Queens.

The Department of Justice (Trump’s DOJ) had sought a sentence longer than seven years, arguing Santos deserved it based on the scale and brazenness of his crimes. Meanwhile, Santos begged for the minimum—two years—which the judge clearly didn’t buy.

This all stems from Santos’s 2022 midterm campaign, where he allegedly used donor funds on personal expenses and lied on financial disclosures. He also faced fraud charges related to Covid-19 unemployment benefits, because apparently even a global pandemic wasn’t off-limits for a little extra grifting.

Santos originally pleaded not guilty in 2023, clinging to his seat in Congress despite mounting scandals. But after a devastating House Ethics Committee report found additional “uncharged and unlawful conduct,” he became one of the few lawmakers in modern history to get expelled—before even being convicted.

He finally pleaded guilty in August 2024, just weeks before his scheduled federal trial, and was ordered to pay $373,000 in restitution.

From Congress to Candidate to Convict

Even after getting booted from Congress, Santos wasn’t done embarrassing himself—or New York. In a move no one asked for, he briefly launched a new campaign as an independent in another district. That bid collapsed after about a month, proving that even Santos couldn’t lie his way back into politics once voters knew the truth.

It’s a fitting end for a man whose entire political career was built on lies so absurd they made reality TV look like a Ken Burns documentary.

But Wait—There’s More

And just when you thought this saga couldn’t get more ridiculous, Donald Trump’s “childhood friend” David Rem decided to jump in.

Rem, who pleaded guilty in 1991 to leaving a suitcase with 18 kilograms of cocaine on a train traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago, publicly pleaded with Trump to intervene.

Yes, Rem apparently submitted two pardon requests—one for himself (for the 1991 cocaine trafficking conviction) and one for Santos—but says George deserves it more. Because in Trump World, there’s no expiration date on either delusion or criminal loyalty.

Meanwhile, Sobbing Santos has until July 25 to turn himself in. Time will tell if he actually shows up for his date with federal prison or tries to invent a new identity before then.