Trump Brags About "Acing" Cognitive Test He Can’t Remember

He says he passed with flying colors—too bad he can’t name any.

Donald Trump says he aced his latest cognitive exam…again. But he just can’t remember what it was—or what was on it.

Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One after his annual physical on Friday, Trump was asked about the mental assessment included in his doctor’s visit. He confidently told the press: “It’s a pretty well known test. Whatever it is. I got every one right.”

That “pretty well known test”? It’s called the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, or MoCA. It’s a one-page, 30-point screening tool used around the world to assess attention, memory, language, and executive function. It takes ten minutes to complete—and is designed to detect early signs of cognitive impairment.

So yeah. The test is literally made to see if you can remember basic things…like the name of the test.

And after taking it multiple times, Trump still calls it “whatever it is.”

Most people can learn the name of a test faster than they can pass it. Trump had five years—and unlimited access to Google. Still: “Whatever it is.”

And yes, we’re talking about the same test that gave us one of Trump’s all-time viral moments.

That’s not a diagnosis—that’s just naming things in a hospital waiting room.

Back then, Trump spoke about that test like he’d just cured cancer. Now, it’s “whatever it is.” But don’t worry, he still “got every one right.”

Biden, Bragging, and Brick Walls

Trump said he took the test because he “wanted to be a little different than Biden,” dragging out the same talking point he’s used for years: if Biden stumbles over a sentence, he’s senile—but if Trump can repeat five nouns, he’s Einstein.

It’s the standard MAGA playbook: accuse your opponent of decline, then brag about being “built like a brick wall” while avoiding actual specifics—like cholesterol, blood pressure, or the name of the test.

Of his physical health, Trump added:

“I felt I was in very good shape. Good heart. A good soul. Very good soul.”

He sounds like someone describing their Tinder profile. But again, no actual numbers.

The exam was conducted by Navy Captain Sean Barbabella at Walter Reed. Trump then immediately flew to Florida to go golfing because nothing screams “transparency” like boarding a plane before your results do.

The Results (Sort of)

Full results are expected sometime Sunday. And unlike his last health stunt—conveniently released on Biden’s 81st birthday—this one might actually include real data.

That birthday memo, penned by Dr. Bruce Aronwald, claimed Trump was in “excellent” physical and mental health.

Which sounds great until you realize it skipped weight, blood pressure, cholesterol. Just vibes and bravado.

Same Test, Same Brag, Still No Name

This is also the first official health update of Trump’s second term. After surviving an assassination attempt last July, he refused to release medical records, instead having Rep. Ronny Jackson—his former White House physician turned hype man—write a memo about the gunshot wound.

Because why consult an actual doctor when you’ve got a guy who once called Trump “the healthiest individual ever elected”?

The Trump Test: Acing Without Answering

This isn’t a one-off gaffe—it’s a pattern. Trump demands cognitive tests for everyone else, calls himself the sharpest mind in the room, and then shows up with no details and no data to prove it.

It’s like claiming you graduated from college but forgetting which one—and also never enrolling.

He’s still touting a perfect score on a test he can’t even name, filled with questions he doesn’t seem to remember, and somehow that’s supposed to make him look more qualified than anyone else.

Call it whatever you want. Just don’t ask him to.